Just so we’re clear…

I might go for a jog tomorrow.

Forward Looking Statements

This blog post contains certain forward-looking statements (within the meaning of Section 27A of the Web Log Act of 2001, as amended, and Section 21E of the Words and Ideas Exchange Act of 1998, as amended) and information relating to Patrick Delaney that are based on the beliefs of the person of Patrick Delaney as well as assumptions made by and information currently available to the idea of Patrick Delaney.  When used in this communication, the words “I,” “might,” “go,” “for,” “a,” “jog,” “tomorrow”  and similar expressions, as they relate to Patrick Delaney or the manifestation of Patrick Delaney, identify forward-looking statements.  Such statements reflect the current views of Patrick Delaney with respect to future events, the outcome of which is subject to certain risks, including, among others, general economic environment and personal spending patterns, decreased (or increased) notice of the girth of Patrick Delaney’s person, low desire to wake early, functionality, use and frequency of use of the snooze button, possible risks associated with long distance running, possible disruptions in Patrick Delaney’s digestive tract, sinuses or the availability of treatment medications for the like, wardrobe malfunctions, loss of sense of self, over inflated sense of self, onset of single or multiple additional unauthorized personalities, road closings, failures in temporal constants or reversal of the accepted flow of time, thinking it’s Thursday when it totally isn’t, unanticipated decreases in temperatures, increases in wind speed or non-appearances of the Sun, online porn, ramifications arising from the unexpected appearance of dogs, the mitigating factors associated with of the various availabilities of good sneakers, the changing of Patrick Delaney’s mind, the performance of Patrick Delaney’s online, digital and other initiatives, good oral hygiene, possible effects of extended periods of pre-dawn wakefulness brought on by the availability of streaming episodes of Dexter, the repeated rediscovery of StumbleUpon or the relative lack of gore posted on Spaceghetto, higher than anticipated occurrences of bears, unanticipated adverse results or effects related to the use of the “sexy shorts”, unplanned inclusions of unfamiliar coffee sweeteners, breakfast shortages, lace knottages, wormholes, disagreements about the benefits of prolonged physical activity, Rachel Ray, loss of wallet, keys or cell phone charge, increases in mortgage, gas, credit, food, utility, childcare, entertainment or unicorn disposal costs, the outcome of Patrick Delaney’s evaluation of strategic alternatives, including the possible retirement of Patrick Delaney, as considered on August 3, 2010, shortly after lunch, and other factors which may be outside of Patrick Delaney’s control, including those factors discussed on occasion in Patrick Delaney’s blog, begun on  Jan. 6, 2007, and in Patrick Delaney’s other rantings made hereafter from time to time with friends, family, a goat, and co-workers. Should one or more of these risks or uncertainties materialize, or should underlying assumptions prove incorrect, actual results or outcomes may vary materially from those described as “I”, “might”, “go”, “for”, “a”, “jog”, or “tomorrow”. Subsequent written and oral forward-looking statements attributable to Patrick Delaney or persons, memes, or non-corporeal entities acting on his behalf are expressly qualified in their entirety by the cautionary statements in this paragraph.  Patrick Delaney undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise any forward-looking statements, whether as a result of new information, reappearance of things once thought lost, future events, alternative future events, retroactive continuities, the rise of Atlantis, the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon, the return of Firefly or otherwise after the date of this communication.

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3 responses to “Just so we’re clear…

  1. Brilliant!

  2. I might mop the kitchen floor tomorrow.

  3. ::chuckles::
    I love you and Sara both.

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