These are the things I need to know

The Beetle is finally in the body shop, getting repairs for the damage that was done FOUR FRELLING MONTHS AGO. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy. No… relieved. No, both.

Why has it taken so long? Ha! Well now, that question has a long and interesting answer. I’ll give you the short answer and still try and keep it interesting. In short, we’ve been waiting all this time for Met Life (the company representing he girl who redecorated our rear-end) to agree to pay for the rental car that we’d need while the Beetle was in the shop, getting un-decorated. They in turn were waiting for paperwork from Hanover Insurance (our company) detailing the costs of damages done during the aforementioned redecoration. They claimed they needed it before they could determine who was at fault. They asked us for the same info three months ago and my response at the time (to the voice on the answering machine) was “Why don’t you go frak yourself you sonsabitches?!? You don’t need to know the bill for the creative vision of your driver in order to accept that she was responsible for the piece of installation art in the trunk of my car.” Or something wordy and creative like that. The fact that they were asking for that info from us instead of from our insurance company just felt like they were giving us the reach around (yeah, I said it) – asking us for info that they knew that Hanover would never give them.

Actually, they were asking us because Hanover wasn’t giving it to them, not because they weren’t supposed to have it but because Hanover repeatedly never sent it after repeatedly being asked. (It reminds me of trying to get our kids to do something.) We found this out two weeks ago when someone from Met Life contacted us about a rental we were due and hadn’t yet used. Uhhhhh… What? So all this time we’d been cursing Met Life and it was our own insurance company that had been screwing us? How… unpleasantly ironic.

See, from Hanover’s point of view, they were paying for the repairs. Case closed. Job well done. Let’s go get a beer. From our point of view… I don’t care who the frak is paying for frelling what. I just want my car fixed!! We should have caught the hint way back in February when our agent suggested to Sara that she call Met Life to get the rental issue rolling. Right. We should make that call. Of course. (sigh) I expect just two things from my insurance company in exchange for my premium: coverage and some GODDAMN SERVICE. I already have a job. Forty hours a week. My job is to manage a bookstore receiving room. Their job is to GET MY GODDAMN CAR FIXED. If the only issue here was cutting a check, a machine could do that. The Social Security Administration has whole rooms full of ’em. Finalizing an insurance claim, though, involves significantly more than that, which is why I have an agent, which is why she gets paid to do the non-check-cutting-machine tasks, which is why I expect her to get on the GODDAMN phone, or put a stamp on a GODDAMN envelope and GET MY GODDAMN CAR FIXED!!!

So yeah, the Beetle is finally in the body shop, getting repaired. And the girl from Met Life even extended our rental (a PT Cruiser, actually) to a full week, instead of the standard one day. (That’s right. One day to completely dismantle the back end of a compact car, determine the extent of the damage, order the parts, wait for the parts, receive the parts, re-assemble the whole thing and give it a final paint job. One day.) You can imagine then that when the body shop called to update us on the repairs and said that they were going to take about a week longer than expected, our response was, well, to freak out. The body shop’s response to our response was: “Don’t worry. Keep the rental for as long as we have your car. But, we’ll end up having to pay for it, we insisted. No, they said, you won’t. They then went on to explain that they’ll just bill the insurance company for it, and that yes, they will pay for it. (Why? Because the body shop has someone who’s job it is to make sure they get paid for getting my goddam car fixed.) In fact, they said, if something like this ever happens again, just bring the car directly to us. We’ll start work on it right away and bill the company of the person who hit you.

You… You mean…. We could have had our car back, repaired, like nothing had ever happened, complete with a complementary rear view mirror hanging thingy (cococnut scented, possibly) FOUR MONTHS AGO?

Yes. We totally could have.

I endured 12 years of a public school system education. I graduated 14th in my class. I can say with absolute certainty that nobody ever taught me THAT. And that’s something I definitely needed to know. I think I’m going to go burn my diploma. No, compost it.

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3 responses to “These are the things I need to know

  1. it was 5 months. and 5 days.

  2. Maybe they were hoping the damaged car would just rust away, thereby eliminating evidence of any liability, before it was all resolved.

    Glad it’s all happening now :)

  3. I’m pretty sure they covered this in Principles Of Technology.

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