How to setup a wireless network in six easy steps

Step one: Get yourself a free, used, wireless laptop computer from a fellow employee who is awesome.

Step Two. Inquire with various friends about wireless network routers. What are they? What do they do? Which one should I buy? Get lots of good advice from your friends, such as: “don’t go with a cheap router” and “get a Linksys – I have one and it’s worked just fine.”

Step Three: Go to Best buy and completely ignore all the good advice in favor of a cheap Dynex wireless router. Use the excuse that the “up to 270 mbps” and “N-Router” claims on the box (including a very convincing info-graphic that explained why a router with an N in front of it is far superior to one with, say, a G in front of it) overwhelmed your sense of good consumerism through their superior use of bullshit.


Seriously, all I want is something that will just get the job done. What I end up with is something that refuses to even get up off it’s wireless ass and do the job at all. Specifically, my desktop was able to access the internet through the router just fine, but the wireless laptop was like “Truck Nutz to that!”

You’d think that I’d have learned my lesson 5 years ago when I bought our first DVD player. I bought the best cables in the store, then bought the least expensive DVD player on the shelf. I didn’t need those over-rated Sony or Panasonic or JVC models. Oh no.. that…. Cyberhome unit was perfect. It would work just fine. At subtitling everything in Hungarian. All the time. When it wasn’t ejecting the DVD.


Step Four: Return the cheap Dynex router and purchase the recommended Linksys (by Cisco! I love the Thong Song!) Grin like a freakin’ maniac the whole time thinking you’re just a few hours away from some crazy wireless internet action. Wonder why the cashier, Dominique, signed her name and a smiley face on your receipt. She must know you’re a crafty wireless networking guru. Aw yeah.

Step Five: Spend your entire weekend trying to get your laptop to connect through the router and finally realize you were in the same place with twenty more dollars in your pocket with the Dynex. Even worse, you were in the same place with eighty more dollars in your pocket before the Dynex.

Step Six. Wireless networking sucks. (Help meeeeee!!!!!)

(Don’t tell Dominique!)

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One response to “How to setup a wireless network in six easy steps

  1. I believe your wife has a store credit that will cover this.

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