7 Arguments Against a New Cat: Less than awesome

Reason Four: Meeeeoooooooowwwwwrrrrrr!!!!!

If something wakes me up with screaming at 2:30 in the morning, it had damn well better be something worthwhile, because it probably interrupted an awesome dream that’s none of your business. Or Sara’s.

It had better be zombies, although they really don’t scream as much as moan. The screaming would probably be coming from some guy who broke into the house trying to get away from the zombies but since he didn’t think zombies were real he wouldn’t know that one of the first rules of zombie avoidance is “get up the stairs, then destroy them” and when he got into the house and discovered that it was just a single-story ranch he’d be screwed and while he was panicking the zombies would have followed him in the house and be chewing on his arm and/or leg and that’s why he’s screaming. Then I could leap into the attack and heroically dispatch the zombies with my trusty rock hammer. Yeah, it had better be zombies.

It had better not be just a cat in heat, cuz I’m already going to be holding a rock hammer. I’m just saying.

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