7 Arguments Against a New Cat: Fur isn’t murder, it’s messy

Reason Three: Why is there hair in my food?

Cats shed hair. They shed everywhere, on everything. There’s cat hair on the ceiling. How did it get there? The cat got on the ceiling somehow and shed on it. They don’t care. Never will a cat be like “Oh hey, that’s the shirt that Pat is going to wear to work tomorrow. Maybe I should shed around that.” On the contrary, it would actually save up the shedding that it was going to do somewhere else so that it could do it extra hard on my shirt. Then it would cough a hairball on it. It totally would.

Hair can be found in just two places in my house: in the tub drain (that’s Sara’s job) and in the sink drain (my job). That’s division of labor. That’s teamwork. And if we needed hair all over the couch, or in drifts under the rest of the furniture, or in nests on the sweaters in the top of the closet, we’d work together to make that happen. We’ve got this thing handled, just the two of us. We don’t need to be adding new players to this team.

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