Reason One: Wet Food.
It’s not enough for the cat to have a perpetual bowl of kibble at it’s disposal. Apparently, the cat needs a can of wet food everyday as well. Don’t know what wet food is? Puree a handful of tuna and chicken broth, add a pack of gelatin, stir in something brown, cover it all in Spam jelly and let it set up in a diaper bin overnight. Now, if your tongue isn’t already trying to crawl down your throat, take it out and inhale. Mmmmm. Wet food.
Yeah, I’d get stuck feeding that to the cat every day thanks to some company that mass produces it and packages it in single serving cans. Only, only, they’re not single servings. Oh no, the cat should only get half a can, which means that the other half has to go in the fridge. With the food. That we EAT.
Look. There’s a very good reason why I don’t get down and scrub the toilet inside and out every day. It’s because it’s disgusting, and possibly communicable, and I don’t have the discretionary time in my daily schedule for the obligatory decontamination regimen. Handling wet food lives in that same kingdom.
Now, if we can agree to only do the wet food once a month, or the day before we have guests over, and whenever I was planning on taking a 30 minute hot shower with bleach anyway… we might have a deal.