I’m not famous

I’m still just a little giddy at getting to go to an official movie premiere last Friday. Let’s face it, I’ll never go to another movie premiere. Ever. I don’t know anyone famous. But sometimes Sara does and I’m perfectly happy hitching a ride on those coattails.

A week has gone by now and the novelty was starting to wear off, when it suddenly occurred to me that I can now connect myself to Kevin Bacon!!!

Follow me. We attended the movie premiere for The Spiderwick Chronicles, which was also attended by the illustrator, author and producers, Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black. The movie starred David Strathairn, who was in The Firm with Tom Cruise… hold on. I don’t like being that close to Tom Cruise. Let’s start again.

The movie starred Joan Plowright, who was in Enchanted April with Alfred Molina, who was in Raiders of the Lost Ark with Harison Ford, who was in Witness with Kelly McGillis, who was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise. Dammit.

The movie stars Freddie Highmore, who was in Finding Neverland with Dustin Hoffman who was in RainMan with…. F f f f f f f f f f f.

Not giving up on Freddie. Freddie. Freddie was in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Christopher Lee, who was in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers with Karl Urban (and his buttery good looks), who was in The Chronicles of Riddick with Thandie Newton, who was in Mission Impossible 2 with SON OF A BITCH!

Okay. You know what? Kevin Bacon hugged my sister in law. True story. One Degree. Done.

But I wanted more famous people. Damn you, Tom Cruise.

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2 responses to “I’m not famous

  1. Sorry, Pat. Tom Cruise seems to have an abnormally high amount of gravity in the Kevin Bacon universe. It is a well known scientific fact that 93.23% (+/- 3% margin of error) of all Kevin Bacon connections must go through Tom Cruise. Sorry! It is loosely referred to as the Cruise/Bacon Singularity.

    On that token, it appears you and I now have the same Bacon Number. Mine is a more interesting story though. Nothing as pedestrian as attending a movie premier. Oh, no. No, I shed BLOOD to achieve my low Bacon number! Here is my lineage:

    My Bacon Number: THREE (or at least that’s lowest to the best of my knowledge)

    (1) Kevin Bacon was in ‘A Few Good Men’ with Tom Cruise (SEE? Told you so.).
    (2) Tom Cruise was in the ‘Color of Money’ with Paul Newman.
    (3) While bringing his driver Mario Andretti back to their trailer after qualifying, Paul Newman, who was co-owner of the Newman-Hass racing team for which Mario drove at the time, crashed into me with a golf cart at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 1988. After making sure I wasn’t seriously hurt (I kinda bounced off the windscreen and was knocked backward 5 or so feet, knocking me on my butt and skinning one of my elbows), he felt so bad about it that he gave me a pair of tickets to the race on the main straightaway!! Oh, I also got Mario’s autograph out of the deal with the disclaimer, “Matt, now you know why I usually drive. Cheers, Mario Andretti.”

  2. No, wait, I didn’t read that second to last sentence in your post. Seems you beat the odds. Not all roads go through Cruise! Ha!

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