It could have been the cookie

This has to have been the least resulty week so far in my effort to slim down. I’m gonna say that I’ve been stuck at about, oh, 260 all week. I got as low as 258.5 one morning (wicked fluke) and as high as 261.5. It cold have been that cookie… that giant, frosted, chewy heart-shaped chocolate chip cookie that arrived suddenly in the mail on Tuesday. Could have been.The story of this cookie is something for another day, but for now I will confirm that I did indeed receive a frosted, chewy, heart shaped chocolate chip cookie big enough to choke a birthday party’s worth of 5 year olds. Through my amazing powers of self control there is still some of this cookie left today to be savored. Where did I get these amazing new powers of self control? Well, I probably shouldn’t give this away, but they we given to me by a dying alien named Abin Sur. Wait. That… that was Green Lantern. Anyway, I’m not saying that I’ve refrained from partaking in the moist deliciousness of this cookie. On the contrary, I had served myself a very generous slice daily since it arrived. It was only through my amazing new powers of self control that those daily slices numbered no more than one, and their size was smaller that the whole cookie. I could have put this whole confection away inside it’s first 6 hours in the house. Oh yes. Instead I was able to spread it’s consumption out over the rest of the week, and the family even got to share it. A milestone indeed.

So, it could have been the cookie. I wonder if maybe I should have just put all those carbs through in one day instead of spreading them out over five. If it had just been one day I might have been able to fool my body into ignoring them. It takes weeks to switch over from burning carbs for energy to burning fat, so why would the switch back take only 24 hours? I should have binged on the cookie and when my body asked “What’s all this then? Are we going back to this?” I could have been all “What? That? Oh never mind that. Hey look over here… Cheese!” and my body would have been “Mmmmmm. Cheeeeeeese.” and when it wasn’t looking I could have sneaked the carbs through. Instead, I’m afraid that by spreading out that cookie that on day 2 my body went “Hey! Haven’t I seen that before? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that before.” and then on day 3 finally woke up and was all “Whoa! I’m gonna have to process those.” and I was “No, no, no! Cheeeeeeese!” and my body was “Yeah, sure. Let me just take care of this first.” It could have happened that way. Regardless, my weight loss has come to a bit of a stall.

But I deserved that cookie.


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