The Cup of Destiny

Today I’ve brought…

The Cup of DestinyThe




I picked this up over in the bargain section. With the help of The Cup of Destiny, you can learn all kinds of amazing things through the mystical secrets of tea reading . What kind of secrets? I’m glad you asked. Here’s an example. If while gazing deep into your Cup of Destiny of tea you notice that the tea leaves have arranged themselves into a pattern resembling a skull, then you can be certain that your tea bag has broken open and eewwww. Just eewwww. Get yourself some new tea bags because those ones you’ve got are just nasty. I fact, just screw the tea and have a Cup of Destiny of coffee.

The Cup of Destiny comes complete with a set of comprehensive instructions. Personally, I’m a little bit wary about the wisdom of using the The Cup of Destiny for anything so mundane as actually holding and consuming beverage, no matter how detailed a set of instructions I have. It feels too much like tempting The Saucer of Fate. Sure, it’s a Cup, but that doesn’t mean we should be jumping to conclusions about the uses it should be put to. This is The Cup of Destiny, after all. I’m just saying that if my mom gave me The Waffle Iron of Contemplation for Christmas, I’d be making pancakes. I had a friend once who was on one of those When Designers Attack shows and they painted his dining room table to look like a Ouija board. Cute, right? Yeah, wrong. At dinner one night, his wife asked him to slide over the butter and whammo! Poltergeist. Now their television only plays reruns of Coach. So, drink at your own peril. Peril!


One response to “The Cup of Destiny

  1. heh…i laughed for a week.

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