Yesterday, for my birthday, I hopped back on the Atkins wagon. I can’t ignore the weight thing anymore. It sure isn’t ignoring me.
Three and a half years ago, I bought into the Atkins thing. The funny thing is, it worked. I mean, it really worked. I started at 240 in August and by the end of November was down to 205, and just in time for the ‘ol 10 year high school reunion. Mind you, I hadn’t planned it that way but it sure was nice. Then of course the Christmas season moved in and there was no way I was going to turn down the multitudes of sweets and desserts and Chex Mix (oh yeah, the Chex Mix). And one dish of ice cream, one serving of nachos, one bowl of popcorn at a time, I went back to my old habits. Those habits being a half gallon of ice cream, a whole plate of nachos and a second bowl of popcorn. Today I have of course put back on all that hard fought-for lost weight and added another 40.
I think it was last year that I tried to restart the whole process again but was ambushed by Easter brunch. There wasn’t one thing on that table that was “safe” to eat and I’d come totaly unprepared. I’d also only been back in the program for a few weeks and it was far too easy to give in to the temptations. After that every bad food decision has had its accompanying excuse or justification. Just this one. Just one more. It doesn’t count. The soda is, um, diet.
It’s not easy. And I know that I had things going for me back then that I simply don’t have now. For example, my job back then had me physically moving for 12 hours a day, 4 days a week. You know how they tell you that no good diet is worth it without exercise? Well, there it was. It’s no wonder I lost nearly 2.5 pounds some weeks. Nowadays, my job is far, far less demanding. While I used to do heavy lifting all day long, now I do that for about, oh, 15 minutes a day. There’s just no comparison between the two. Also, there’s the problem of my eating an almost entirely separate menu than the rest of the fam. That means double the work when shopping and double the work when preparing meals. I can’t say that I much look forward to that. It’s hard enough with the extra time that needs to go into preparing almost all of your food. Almost everything we eat that’s bad for us comes ready to eat, or enclosed in some kind of bread. Just take breakfasts, for example. No more bagels, english muffins, cereal, scones, donuts, pancakes or waffles for me. So what’s left? Pretty much… eggs. Yeah. I remember eating a LOT of eggs.
Most of all, there’s just not a whole lotta options with Atkins. I’m sorry, but there aren’t. Okay, there are, but not if you’re on a budget. I never went in for all those Atkins branded products that let you eat cake and brownies and all that for next to no carbs. They cost a small fortune and they taste nothing like those things that you’re denying yourself. If I’m gonna eat cake when I know I shouldn’t be eating cake then it damn well better taste like fucking cake! If I’m gonna lie to myself, I might as well just keep going the way I am and enjoy each sumptuous bite like it was my last, until it is.
So here I am back where I started, with my resolution (somehow means more now that we’re 19 days removed from New Year’s) to get healthy again. I’m hoping that by making the announcement here I’ll be more inclined to keep my promises. As much as I hate the cliche-ness of it, I can also track my progress here. So, yesterday morning I began this battle at 280 pounds. Today, 276. I know that’s not real weight loss but it’s nice to see the numbers drop.
On day two, my stomach is NOT liking me. I’m probably only putting a quarter of the volume in it as I was 3 days ago. By about 4 o’clock it’s growling like I haven’t eaten at all. I’m trying to drink at least 2 liters of water a day as well, instead of diet sodas (which I’ve actually cut way back on in the past few months anyway) or sugar free fruit drinks. Water is good. Major hurdle number one will be tonight when we have a couple of friends over for dinner. I’ve already had an omelet so I can be satisfied with just steak and veggies later, and not miss the potatoes, bread and eventually, ice cream.
No. I’m really gonna miss the ice cream.